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i liked you because when you spoke you said
things like “blue busses remind me of Easter”
and “God lives inside the walls of art museums”
two days before graduation you picked me up at 4 AM
and we drove down to Michigan, I told you about my
sister and you told me about winters in Connecticut
when i left for college, i wrote you three poems and
handed them to you in white envelopes, you gave me
sea shells you found when you were thirteen and alone
he tastes bitter and i still think about your laughter
i wonder if you look for the moon on broken nights
because my skin burns when strange boys touch me
when i received the invitation to your wedding,
i took a shower and boiled myself into patches
of pain, then i called and said congratulations
she looked beautiful at the wedding and i got
drunk off of red wine and told your mother how
you used to cry when people called you brave
we talked once, you told me you haven’t read
my poems yet and asked if i still had your sea
shells, i told you i was supposed to be in white
i moved to Australia and three years later i
received an apology letter from you which
i burned and then wouldn’t sleep for weeks
i still think about you on nights when my
husband is sleeping and my black lungs
want cigarettes i promised to stop smoking
i saw you in my dreams last night, you
were kissing my neck and stroking my
thighs and i woke up crying in sweat
i went to your funeral last Thursday night,
you were always talking about Autumn so
i didn’t think you should have died in winter
i cut my hair short before visiting your grave
because i didn’t want anyone to recognize me,
i left your sea shells and cried on the way home
- •TAKE A PICTURE OF
- 1.What you're drinking.
- 2.Your mobile phone.
- 3.Television remote.
- 4.Your hands.
- 5.Your lips.
- 6.Your favorite possession.
- 7.Your favorite stuffed animal/toy.
- 8.Your face right now.
- 9.The shirt you're wearing.
- 10.What you're eating.
- 11.Your room.
- 12.Your T.V.
- 13.Something random.
- 14.Your ceiling.
- 15.Your eye.
- 16.Your computer.
- 17.Your favorite piece of jewelry.
- 18.Your favorite item of clothing.
- 19.Your favorite shoes.
- 20.Something important to you.
- 21.Something shiney.
- 22.Some red.
- 23.Something orange.
- 24.Something yellow.
- 25.Something green.
- 26.Something blue.
- 27.Something purple.
- 28.Something pink.
- 29.Something black.
- 30.Something rainbow.
- 31.Something that makes you smile.
- 32.Something that brings back a good memory.
- 33.Something that brings back a bad memory.
- 34.Something you've had since you were a child.
- 35.Something old.
- 36.Something new.
- 37.Something you think is cute.
- 38.Something funny.
- 39.Something cool.
- 40.Something weird that you own.
I did it.
I’ll stop tomorrow, promise.
Okay, so now I have my lit papers done, as much of the yearbook as I’ll have done by tomorrow done, I’m caught up in math, my aquaponics is done…. Now to tackle the rest of my SLE paper. I finished the intro to that and started on section two. I can finish this before 1am. I can do it.
I need to keep reminding myself of what I’ve accomplished this week so I can keep moving forward… Losing hope.
(This week) I’ve accomplished:
- Finished Section 1 of 3 for my SLE paper
- Poster for you’re a good man charlie brown
- My big science paper
- getting supplies for my aquaponics
- getting supplies for my Energy Project
- Finished all missing work for Science
- Took superlative votes and tallyed
- Finished Crew Page
- Finished Freshmen/Sophomore/Junior Class pages
- Finished Proposal/Calendar
- 35 hours a week for the past 3 weeks
- Intro (Lit Analysis 1; God of Small Things)
KEEP MOVING FORWARD
What do I need to do before Friday?
- Fitness Quiz/Reading
- Finish Literary Analysis (GOST)
- Edit Literary Analysis (Kite Runner)
- College Board
- Sections 2 and 3 of SLE paper (Intro and Conclusion)
- Senior Page (Me, Garik, Scott)
- Final Art Project
- Finish Yearbook (as much as possible)
- Contact Musicians for my project